Safe Spaces:
Why Feeling Safe
Is More Than Just Not Dying
Aleece Weave
Let’s get one thing straight: feeling safe during birth isn’t just about not dying. I mean, yes, we definitely want you to stay alive—preferably for a very long time—but safety is so much more than that. It’s about not wanting to punch someone because they’re treating you like a walking uterus instead of a human being with, you know, feelings and a brain.
The Myth of “Safe” Spaces- We throw around the term “safe space” like it’s some sort of magical unicorn that appears in the birth room and suddenly, poof! Everything is perfect. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work like that. Feeling safe is more than just dim lighting and whale music. It’s about having people around you who actually listen when you say, “No, I don’t want you to check my cervix for the 50th time just because you’re bored.” It’s about being treated like your birth is a big deal—because it is.
Informed Consent: Not Just a Boring Legal Term- You’d think something like informed consent would be obvious, right? Wrong. Too often, it’s more like, “Sign here if you don’t want to be that ‘difficult’ patient.” Real informed consent means having all the information you need to make decisions that are right for you. It’s not just “Should I have this procedure?” but “Why should I have it, what are the risks, and do I even want it?” It’s your body, your call. Not your OB’s, not your mother-in-law’s, and definitely not that random nurse who keeps calling you “Mom”.
Reproductive Justice- If you’ve never heard of reproductive justice, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Between navigating prenatal appointments and figuring out how to reach your toes, it can be hard to keep up with all the movement in the birth world. But this one’s worth knowing. Reproductive justice is about the right to have children, not have children, and parent the children you have in safe and supportive environments. It’s not just a catchy phrase; it’s a framework rooted in the idea that everyone—regardless of race, income, or background—should have the autonomy to make choices about their bodies and lives without facing systemic barriers or discrimination.
“Safety and security don’t just happen; they are the result of collective consensus and public investment.” — Nelson Mandela
Safety Beyond the Epidural- Let’s not forget that feeling safe doesn’t stop once the epidural kicks in (if you want one, you get to choose what’s best for you). Emotional safety is huge. It’s being able to say, “I’m scared,” without someone brushing you off with, “Don’t worry, sweetie, we’ve done this a thousand times.” Yeah, well, I haven’t, so maybe listen to me when I say I need a second to breathe.
Doulas: Not Just for Hippies Anymore- Some people think doulas are just for hippies who want to chant and burn sage during birth. While that sounds lovely if you’re into it, we’re here for way more than that. We’re here to have your back, to help you navigate the chaos, and to make sure that when you say, “I need a break,” people actually listen. We’re here to advocate for your dignity, your choices, and your right to feel like the badass you are—whether you’re birthing at home, in a hospital, or just trying to figure out how the heck to get through this thing called postpartum.
Safety is about feeling respected, informed, and like the superhero you are. Whether you’re giving birth, processing loss, or simply navigating the ups and downs of pregnancy, you deserve care that reflects your strength and resilience. If that means being your steadfast advocate to ensure your voice is heard and honored, I’m all in.
The resources below highlight the importance of understanding your rights and protecting against obstetric violence to ensure a safe, dignified experience for everyone
If you’re looking for a doula who truly prioritizes emotional and physical safety during birth, check out our doula services.
Your voice matters. If you want to learn more about advocating for your rights during labor or need support navigating your birthing journey, Contact Me.
