By Rebel Born Doula
This powerful birth story was shared by Rebel Born Doula, a fierce and inspiring doula whose journey embodies strength and resilience. Follow her on Instagram to learn more about her experiences and incredible work in the birth community.
I’d been really uncomfortable for a couple of weeks (well months tbh) I was having strong Braxton hicks & my pelvic girdle pain was that unbearable to the point I could barely walk. I’d honestly had enough of being pregnant. To make matters worse we needed baby to be “late” due to having house renovations done which tbh really stressed me out as all I wanted to do was nest however my days were spent either sitting in my bedroom or the kitchen with a toddler into absolutely everything. I was stressed out to the max, exhausted & so not prepared for baby to make her appearance anytime soon. This time around has just been a really tough pregnancy for me from the sickness/constant migraines, round ligament pain, pelvic pain, the list goes on.
Anyways On the afternoon of the 20th I popped to the loo & there it was… my mucus plug, I knew there & then that I’d be having the baby that weekend. She wasn’t due till the 27th September, my time of getting organized had ran out. Saturday went by I was having quite painful Braxton hicks & knew my body was getting prepared. I went to bed around 1am not really thinking much about labor. The following morning I woke up at 6am (now was the 22nd) to some quite painful Braxton hicks or so I thought. At 6.30am I felt a pop at the top of my bump & knew that was my waters which had gone followed by a gush. The intensity of my contractions really ramped up & with every contraction I lost more fluid. Contractions were really irregular coming every 15/25 minutes at this point so I decided to try and lay down and rest before things got really intense as I was still really tired from the night before. All of a sudden around 11.30am contractions were coming thick and fast. I wanted to be in the bathroom at this point. They were now back to back & after only a handful of contractions I was bearing down & I could feel babies head moving down. I felt inside and I could touch her head, she was right there but colin couldn’t see anything yet.
After a few more contractions after what seemed like forever, colin could see the very top of her head and after a couple more pushes her head was out and she began crying. The ring of fire was intense. I had to wait a few moments for the next contraction to push out the rest of her body which was honestly just so painful but of course a relief. It all seemed to happen so fast but in slow motion at the same time. I felt I couldn’t quite compose myself nor did I feel very in control which was a lot different to my labour with Wilona but anyways we did it. Once baby was out (12.37pm) I told colin to pass her to me but he was taking his time saying hello to her. She was covered in thick vernix which I’ve not had before but I’ve also never had a baby before 40 weeks before. Wednesday and Wilona came upstairs to meet their new sister as we didn’t have any childcare Wednesday doing a great job of entertaining her little sister downstairs bless her. I felt absolutely fine for around ten minutes until I stood up and the blood and clots gushed out of me i knew there and then something wasn’t right so I called up my homebirth midwife from a previous pregnancy. She knew of my plans this time around to not engage with NHS services & my plan to freebirth as I had seen her this pregnancy for my anti D. She was always so respectful and supportive of my choices. Luckily, she was on call and was with us within 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes felt like an eternity, and I could feel myself getting more unwell by the second.
I lay on the bed, and the blood was just pouring from me. I knew this was a severe hemorrhage. I felt absolutely terrible. Once the midwife arrived, she confirmed I was losing too much blood, so I consented to oxytocin and misoprostol via injection, which unfortunately wasn’t helping stem the bleeding at all. The midwife asked if I consented to an ambulance being called, who could administer fluids and Tranexamic acid, to which I agreed. The paramedics arrived and got to work quickly, checking my obs and getting updated by the midwife. They needed to put in an IV, but unfortunately, I’d lost so much blood that they couldn’t get one into my shrunken veins. By this time, I actually felt horrendous; I couldn’t move my legs and felt, well, just horrific. Luckily, they administered the Tranexamic acid via injection, which I had, and thankfully, this began to slow the bleeding down. During all this, we had no childcare, so Colin was trying to deal with the girls while finding someone to collect them in case I needed to be admitted to the hospital, which was a chore since everyone was busy or away for the day. Eventually, the kids’ godparents were on their way to collect them. The paramedics were checking my obs regularly, and there was some slight improvement with my blood pressure.
The midwife and paramedics wanted to take me to the hospital, but I refused. I felt confident that I could get well at home after the bleeding had slowed down. By this time, it was around 5:30 PM, and I’d paid zero attention to the baby, but she was just chilling, feeding like a little champ while all this madness was happening around her. Colin did all the newborn checks, and everything was good—she weighed 8lb 6oz. The midwife left, and Colin and I could relax a little, eat some food, etc. I could barely stand without wanting to pass out, so Colin had to help support me to the toilet. The first two days were really horrible; I’ve never felt so poorly and so weak. Day 3 was the most emotional I’ve ever been post-birth, but by day 4, I was feeling a lot more myself. This was my first experience of having a PPH, and it was honestly quite traumatic, although at the time, I did feel calm. I’m just upset that my freebirth ended this way, but thankful to the midwife and paramedics who did such a wonderful job to help and support me at such a vulnerable time.
Our midwife was honestly fantastic, even during the PPH. I never felt pressured into absolutely anything, and she was always very clear on asking my consent with everything (as it should be). Of course, she had guidelines to follow and offered her recommendations but was never pushy or coercive, which honestly made the absolute world of difference. I did cry a few times to her, upset that my birth had gone “tits up,” and she reminded me that it wasn’t my fault and that these things happen. I am carrying a bit of grief around what happened post-birth, but I’m thankful to have many wonderful birth workers around me, offering their support and services I can use. Today, baby is 6 days old, and I’m finally beginning to feel a little more normal. I’m glad she arrived safely, and ultimately, we got our freebirth, just sad that the PPH took away those magical hours post-birth. But I’m sure I’ll come to terms with it all in time—some things you just cannot control.
